I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
