I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
