I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
