But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
