Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
kristin has been a bad kristin
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
