I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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