we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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