you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
