I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
