fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
