remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
