I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
