i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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