there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
