You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
jump out the window naked night went bad
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