grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
