Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize