i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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