I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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