so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
