I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
