i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
