I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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