dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
