We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
