I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
