my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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