I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
