Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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