just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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Did you pee in the oven last night??
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