We're facebook friends in real life
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
