Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize