You made me cry and you don't even care
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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