People in love make me want to vomit
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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