Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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