I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
