then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
