my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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