i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
