He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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