I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
