and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
