yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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