I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
