When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
