Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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