Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
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I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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