dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
