i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
They took my balls.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
