the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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