Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
