Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
