Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
