i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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