Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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