I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You have to summon your inner elephant
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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