i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
