remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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