For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
