We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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