We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
