The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
